Happy Anniversary Sweet Pea

I have been trying to put into words lately the craziness that is the man I have been married to for eleven years. It was thirteen years ago that I actually met this boy. That is what he was…just a boy. And I was even more of just a little girl. I was barely surviving as the head honcho of the Waco Family YMCA’s youth programs. I had just finished hiring the summer staff for the camps that year when this cowboy, of all things, walks into my office. A cowboy - the representation of all things that were NOT me at the time. I hated country music (who does that?), was allergic to horses, and was on a pattern of bad boyfriends I didn’t intend on breaking.

Although I already had the number of staff I needed, by the end of our hour long interview I heard myself saying, “I feel confident in saying you have the job” with perhaps the largest smile I have ever produced in my life. Shawn went on to work the camp that summer…the summer we fell in love. Before our first date, he came to my apartment to pick me up. My two roommates and close friends met him for the first time and we all chatted for a few minutes before we were on our way. When he dropped me off for the evening, my friends were waiting up for me. The second I walked in the door they both clobbered me with screaming and squealing. One of them grabbed me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes and put into words the feeling I had with me during the entire date, “He’s the ONE.” And indeed he was. A year later we were engaged. A year after that we were married.

Shawn is like no one I have ever met. He has the most selfless heart, truly the definition of a good guy. He always puts others before himself whether it be strangers, the boys, friends, me or even people he doesn’t care for. It is the way he rolls. Not only was it refreshing for me to see this, it opened my eyes up to how much room I have to grow in this area and how many people in society just don’t even comprehend this way of life.

This boy is a dreamer. We always joke that he is floating in the future, I am being pulled along from the past and somehow we meet in the present. Any given night of our marriage has come to an end with this scene: Shawn doing an elaborate presentation of sticky notes and notebook scratch paper with all sorts of figures and numbers about a project or plan for the future. His eyes are always wild with excitement, mine are heavy with exhaustion. He has not only taught me how to dream, but inspired me to reach for my highest ones. I can’t wait to watch him teach this to my boys. What an amazing gift.

Shawn reigns in his entrepreneurial spirit and dreaming mind each morning to go work a job that he is very thankful for but not completely fulfilled by so that I can be at home with our babies. He followed me around the country and supported me through years of school so I could write PhD after my name, and now allows me work exclusively for the two most adorable but demanding humans on the face of the earth with a non-existent paycheck and simply frightening dress code. I appreciate this more than I could ever tell him. I don’t think there is anything more important to me right now.

Shawn makes me laugh. He loves to do it, and I love for him to do it. My favorite memories so far are the times when we have caused each other to belly laugh to the point of no sound coming out of our mouths. I hope we can do this everyday for the rest of our lives.

I know that if anything happened to me, Shawn would not only take care of my boys, but he would continue to be the best dad in the universe. He cares for those boys at a level that I am so grateful for. He makes every daily decision in their best interest and I know he will raise them to be the same type of fathers he is.

I love the way in which Shawn lets me get away with nothing. He has this perfect way of reacting to my actions in a way that almost always diffuses them. Drama? Sass? Overreaction? He doesn’t condemn me, try to teach me a lesson, or even worse, try to fight with me. He simply doesn’t want to be a part of it. He calmly just excuses himself until I am done. The first time this happened I became furious, and then attempted to stay that way but found out it is difficult to misbehave without an audience to play to. It has become less and less worth it to act silly, and more and more worth it to be the woman I know I can be. Somehow God knew exactly what I needed, and put it in the cutest package I could imagine.

Shawn has become my knight in shining armor. Although I wouldn’t have requested to have to see my husband become my defender, my protector, my hero and the bravest man I have ever met in quite the circumstances I have had to see him in during our marriage, I am so grateful for what he has done for me. He shown me my worth, not just told me about it. He has shown me love, not just professed it. He has been my stability in the roughest of times. I feel so protected and safe, and know I wouldn’t have made it through the last few years without him by my side.

Shawn and I have worked for the last thirteen years on our relationship. It has not been easy. In fact, it has been hard. Very hard. But all the hard work has resulted in a well built, tightly woven unit. Each moment, each day, each year his pulled and stretched and knit this fabric into place, and it exists as a support for us. I remember the first trimester of Rex’s pregnancy being a very difficult time for me. I was still mourning the miscarriage of the twins several months before that, and I was extremely nervous about being successful in carrying Rex’s pregnancy. I was so anxious, depressed, and just a mess. And even though my part of the fabric was flapping all over the place, out of control and in desperate need of repair, there was no danger of it getting tattered or ripped because Shawn picked up the slack. He pulled harder when I wasn’t able to pull at all. He worked double time while I did what I had to do and went through what I needed to. He kept our fabric strong and solid for us, just like I try to do when he needs to do a little flapping (although I will admit this happens a little less frequently).

When Shawn asked me to marry him twelve years ago, and I tearfully said yes, I had no idea how great he was. I felt lucky to have felt like I found the one. I was happy my friends and family adored him. I was ecstatic that loved him and he loved me back. I was over the moon that we had the same ideas for our future. I knew how lucky I was that neither one of us had a crazy past that was going to be difficult to manage together. I loved him and thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. But I had no idea. Seriously, no idea. No idea that he was going to be so amazing, so loving, so perfect. No idea that things would get better each day that passed. No idea how much I would continue to look forward to our future together. No idea how lucky I was.

Now that Shawn is no longer a boy and I am far from a young girl, there is still so much work to be done. More threads to weave together, more memories to make, more tears to shed, more belly laughs, and many more nights for slumber parties with my best friend in the world.

I love you, Shawn.

Happy Anniversary.